26 August 2007
wrote (17 August 2007, 1825 hours):
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a
photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle along
for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies
and before long, he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about,
he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep
doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he
immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to
the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the
old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious
leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."
On hearing this, the young leopard halts his
attack in mid-strike. A look of terror comes over him and he
slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was
close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the
whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the
leopard. The old poodle sees the monkey heading after the
leopard, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon
catches up with the leopard, spills the beans, and strikes a
deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a
fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's
going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming
with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do
now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to
his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when
they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, "Where's
that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another
Moral of the story...
Don't mess with old farts. Age and treachery will always
overcome youth and skill. Bullshit and brilliance only come with
age and experience......
wrote (18 August 2007, 1002 hours):
You didn't hear the end of the story yet.
The leopard ate both the monkey and the
poodle but was shot by the old lady. And it's magnificent skin
was displayed on her mansion wall, except for the two holes,
where its sensitive parts were blown off.
The moral of the story...
Don't monkey with a poodle and don't poodle with a monkey.
But most important of all, don't tickle an
old lady, especially from behind, or you'll lose your b.....in
(who just turned 65!)
wrote (18 August 2007, 1126 hours):
What's your definition of an old lady? 65 and
above? 70 and above? Age is extremely sensitive in our
society.... dunno why. There are many matured ladies amongst us,
so always specify the age when you talk about an old lady.
Cheers and see you guys + + at the Indian Kitchen on Thursday 30
wrote (18 August 2007, 2210 hours):
The definition of an old lady is a lady who
feels old. It doesn't matter what her age is. Likewise for the
guys too. Are you old?
(who just turned 65!)
wrote (19 August 2007, 0846 hours):
If that be the case, why did Leslie begin his
story "A wealthy old lady....." and you verified that this
person is an old lady in your continuation of the said story?
Did she actually tell both of you that she
"feels" old and can therefore be called "old" by you two?
Logically, how can a wealthy lady go for a safari in Africa if
she is "old" as defined by you? She's probably a spinster or a
widow but with loads of cash....and you guys simply assumed
she's an OLD lady! I won't be surprised she's actually young and
may be just in her 40s or early 50s!
As to your personal question for me "Are you
old?"..... I'm chronologically old but biologically young at 65.
Everyone I meet tells me I look 10-15 years younger, starting in
1995 with Zuraidah Ibrahim, the ST political editor, whom I met
in William's College USA. (I also met Dr Ong Yong Yau there.)
Recommend you read "Secrets of the SuperYoung"
by Dr David Weeks.....the scientific reasons some people look 10
years younger than they really are....
Cheers to all.....go for fortnightly facials
and daily fast walks and dun sweat the small stuff!
wrote (22 August 2007, 1702 hours):
The cliché about a woman is as old as she
looks and a man as old as he feels still holds true. However,
things do get a bit fuzzy with chronological age kicking in. In
this day and age could it be the other way round!
Anyway I do agree with Allan never tickle any
lady not just old ladies especially from behind, if you do not
have good insurance coverage for your family’s treasure.
wrote (26 August 2007, 0920 hours):
Sorry, but I really didn't know that ladies
would use one of their legs to kick your "family treasures"
should you tickle them from behind? My belated response is
because, being naive especially in such sexual matters, I didn't
know what you meant by "family treasures" until our very
experienced Percy the young chick enlightened me yesterday.
Reminds me of my traumatic exp back in 1980
when I went to a horse-farm in Melbourne to ride a horse. The
farm hand brought me to my horse, an old hag named Elvis, and
stupidly I approached her from behind and patted her rear just
above her tail. She kicked me with her left hind leg but luckily
did not get my vulnerable spot but got my left thigh instead,
felling me instantly. There was an ugly bruise and the worried
farm manager drove me to a nearby hospital for an x-ray and some
pain-medication. Luckily the mare was very old and her kick did
not fracture my thigh bone (femur). The manager not only
refunded my riding charge but drove me back to my cousin's home,
where I was staying, in Glen Waverly. He was cussing the farm
hand all the way and said he will sack him for not warning me
not to touch Elvis from behind.
So my question to you: Do ladies nowadays
react like fillies (young) or mares (aged) when tickled from
Sorry, CTL, forum editor, looks like this
story is a never-ending one.
Cheers to all and looking forward to seeing
you guys/dolls this Thursday for the great curry lunch at Tekka.